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LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND ? - Chapter 63 |
| Farewell into the future. The short journey home on the night-time motorway. I concentrate on the traffic, feel nothing, a journey just like any other. Back to the empty apartment? The night-cafe? Perhaps Robert is there.... No - that can’t have been the good-bye.....
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LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND ? - Chapter 62 |
| Ì love you! The time passes quickly. Robin still hasn’t come back. I become nervous, feel anger rising within me, do house-work to distract myself. Then I lay the passport and the ticket ready, consider whether I should pack some of his clothes out of the cupboard. No! No more misapplied consideration.. He’s on the point of taking on responsibility for himself.
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LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND ? - Chapter 61 |
| Support Robin doesn’t come home for the next few days, nor does he sleep in the basement. Then I receive a phone-call from his best friends mother: imploringly she asks me whether I really want to show Robin the door for good - he’s not taking care of himself, has started to smell awful and on top of that she thinks he’s into some shady deals. I answer that for once and all I don’t really care what happens to him - even if a prison-sentence or his death is the final outcome.
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LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND ? - Chapter 60 |
| Aggressions My relief at knowing he is back in the apartment is suppressed by a mounting anger which does not let me sleep. Robin is watching television in the living room and I go over, yell at him: “This state of affairs has to end -- I just can’t stand it any more! From now on you’ll have to prove that you want to lead an orderly life! In future you’ll pay for the codeine out of your own pocket and get a sensible job!” He looks at me, terrified: “I need the money for the codeine from you!” “No! You’ve had your last!”
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LEAVING DRUGS BEHIND ? - Chapter 59 |
| Night-trips One evening a girl with a stressed voice calls and asks for him. I tell her he’s not at home. She sounds disturbed. She’d met Robin on the afternoon in Frankfurt city centre. He’s allowed her to stay at his overnight. Her parents had thrown her out, and she doesn’t know where to go.
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